


Lattes and Chocolate

by Timewatcher9000



Series: Lupin’s Favorite Eagle [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Cedric/Reader if you squint hard enough, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentor Remus Lupin, Other, Paranoia, Remus’ relationship with the reader is fatherly not romantic, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teen Angst, but like platonic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 14:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timewatcher9000/pseuds/Timewatcher9000
Summary: It was no secret that Gryffindors were Dumbledore’s favorites. More often than not at least one Gryffindor was chosen for the position of Head Boy or Head Girl. Everyone was certain that Percy Weasley would have been Head Boy this year, especially seeing that most of his brothers were prefects/head boys themselves. However, in an almost last minute decision, Dumbledore decided that the next Head Boy would be the Ravenclaw who became mildly infamous because of the Chamber of Secrets.





	Lattes and Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> If you find that this chapter is confusing and hard to keep up with then I’m sorry. I wanted to capture the confusion/lack of focus that insomnia and anxiety can give. I also included other symptoms such as headaches and lack of awareness so some things won’t add up as much as they will if the story was told from third person.

Just like how it was no secret that Dumbledore favored Gryffindor, it was no secret that Professor Lupin cared for each and everyone one of his students as if they were his own.

 

You remembered walking through the doors of DADA to find that there was no professor and the only other sight of life was Cedric Diggory, a newly appointed Hufflepuff prefect who really had no business being in a seventh-year DADA class.

 

_ “Hello Cedric, is there anything you need?” _

 

_ “Um, hi! I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can become Head Boy?” _

 

_ You paused at his question, thinking back on what you did to scrap the title from the much more qualified Percy Weasley. Which in theory, was nothing. However, with the way those gray eyes looked up at you with such optimism you couldn’t find it within yourself to tell him that the choosing of Head Boys and Girls were almost completely random. _

 

_ “I believe you should ask Percy Weasley for any questions regarding on how to become Head Boy. He was the best choice for the position originally, but in the end Dumbledore decided that I should fill in the position. Though I could never exactly figure out why.” _

 

_ “Well, you were the one who helped heal Professor Lockhart last year. I overheard Madam Pomfrey talking about how he could’ve ended up in St. Mungo's Hospital if not for your spellwork. Last I heard Percy hadn’t done anything so…” _

 

_ You stared at Cedric’s face, watching as he trailed off, as if trying to find the words to describe your stupidity. _

 

_ “Reckless?” You offered with a smile, thinking back to the events that took place last year. _

 

_ Professor Snape was floored, deducting 150 points from Ravenclaw, upon finding out that in order to reverse the effects of Obliviate you had to render Professor Lockhart unconscious with Stupefy and then bring him right back with Rennervate.  _

 

_ “I was actually gonna say righteous. You certainly gave Gryffindor a run for their money. They aren’t the only house with a heroic streak anymore.” _

 

_ “Suppose it’s time for us underrated houses to make a comeback then isn’t it? Those meatheads won’t stand a chance against Head Boy Cedric Diggory.” _

 

_ Cedric grinned, jumping at the sound of the door opening. You glanced behind him to find Professor Lupin, the new DADA professor. His eyebrows were raised, as he spotted you and Cedric. Perhaps it was a bit compromising to be in an empty room with a much younger boy, but you couldn’t really find yourself to care about the implications and instead shooed off Cedric with a goodbye. _

 

_ “Hello, you are relatively early. Don’t you have a prior class?” _

 

_ You glanced at the clock while Professor Lupin spoke, realizing that you and Cedric had really only been talking for about two minutes. _

 

_ “It hasn’t really been that long sir. Cedric was only asking me for some advice.” _

 

_ “Advice on what exactly, (l/n)?” _

 

_ “About his prefect duties.” _

 

_ It technically wasn’t the truth, but it really wasn’t any of your business to spill. So instead you took a seat, already setting down your bag and placing your wand on your desk. _

_ “And no, I don’t have a class before yours. I dropped Divinations a few days after school began. I have a free space now. It works out better for me either way though because it gives me more time to balance all my duties.” _

 

_ “Ah, so you’re the Ravenclaw Head Boy that Flitwick was boasting about.” _

 

_ You grinned sheepishly, settling for staring at the clock instead of looking into his eyes which held a strange dazed look. _

 

_ “I certainly wish I was as witted and capable as you back in my time at Hogwarts. I spent most of my time cleaning after my friends,” Professor Lupin commented. A sudden crinkling sound caught your attention and you looked down to find a chocolate bar. You couldn’t hide your confusion as you looked up at Professor Lupin. _

 

_ “You look a little tired. Eat some chocolate, it’ll make you feel better.” _

 

Turns out that chocolate really did make you feel better. You realized this sometime after that fateful day with Professor Lupin. 

 

It was a bit funny the way your anxiety worked. The first time you noticed that something was off was back in your first year when you misplaced your cauldron. In hindsight it wasn’t anything to be worried about but you still can’t get the helpless pain out of your chest when thinking back on it.

 

_ You fumbled about your dorm, thankful that your dorm mates already made their way into the common room. You gripped tightly onto your bed, pulling back the perfectly made sheets, searching frantically for any signs of your cauldron. Last thing you needed on your first day of potions was to show up without your cauldron like a fool. Professor Snape was going to yell at you in front of the whole class and humiliate you. It was already hard enough for you to make friends let alone while being the laughing stock of Ravenclaw. Who’s ever heard of a stupid Ravenclaw? _

 

_ Tossing you sheets back onto your bed you jogged down the stairs, your eyes focused on the ground. Hearing the chattering from your fellow Ravenclaws almost sent you into hysterical crying. Someone told a joke, you couldn’t quite hear what it was but it had most of the common room laughing and your heart dropped into your stomach at the thought of the sea of blue and green jeering at your idiocy. And so you walked out, your eyes still focused on your feet shuffling. _

 

_ It wasn’t long until you found yourself in front of the restroom and you immediately ran into a stall, locking the door and sliding to the ground. Not caring about the stench of a public restroom or the dirtiness of the floor, you curled into fetal position letting out shaky sobs. _

 

_ Why were you so stupid? Did you even belong in Ravenclaw? _

 

Even six years later you still felt a bit silly thinking back on how you locked yourself in the boys bathroom over a lost cauldron. And that was only the first of many instances.

 

There had come a point throughout your seven years at Hogwarts that your anxiety had evolved from tearful episodes into paranoia. Which was where the chocolates came in, much thanks to Professor Lupin. Perhaps they were enchanted with Draught of Peace or something of the sorts? You wouldn’t put it past Professor Lupin, every time you looked at him it felt like he looking directly through you. You always left his class feeling vulnerable, watched.

 

Maybe it was your anxiety, or was it paranoia? You weren’t sure when everyone had seemed to be out to get you. Maybe it was with the constant threat of Sirius Black that sent you over the edge. You haven’t been able to sleep right this year. Every hint of sound has you jumping, lurking around the corridors with your wand in reach. Every shuffle of your dorm mates had you investigating the beds and common room.

 

At some point the chocolates alone weren’t strong enough. Maybe it was paranoia, or was it just your insomnia?

 

The earliest memory you had with your recently found addiction to coffee was when Dumbledore ordered you and Amy Frome, a Slytherin chosen for Head Girl, to take shifts watching over the underclassmen in the Great Hall.

 

_ Dumbledore walked out the Great Hall with Professor Snape in tow. You turned to Amy, motioning to an empty sleeping bag.  _

 

_ “You can go ahead and sleep. I can handle the first shift.” _

 

_ Amy took you up on your offer and you watched as she slid off her green robes. Once you were positive she was asleep you slowly walked up and down the row of students. Peering slightly over the sleeping bags you made sure to check that everyone was asleep, but most importantly: safe and sound. _

 

_ It was only few hours before Dobby popped in, making sure everything was alright.  _

 

_ “Is everythings alrigh’ for Head Boy (l/n)?” _

 

_ “Yes Dobby, I’m holding up just fine. But can you get me an iced almond milk latte with one teaspoon of sugar?” _

 

_ Dobby nodded at you, mumbling various “yes sirs” that you couldn’t be bothered to understand. As Dobby clumsily stumbled out, you continued tip toeing around the Great Hall, watching all the sleeping faces. For the first time in months you wondered what it would be like to sleep as if nothing was wrong. _

 

So it was about two month into the school year when Professor Lupin’s chocolates were no longer working and you turned to coffee. 

 

That’s probably how you found yourself in Professor Lupin’s office right now. There was always something about that man that was able to read you like an open book, and it definitely wasn’t your paranoia this time.

 

“Another iced latte? How many cups have you had today?”

 

It was roughly around dinner time, and you were ideally supposed to be patrolling the corridors to rush any lingering students to the Great Hall. Which means that this was probably around your third cup. How much coffee until it’s deadly?

 

“Um…”

 

“You know for a Head Boy I would think that you’d take better care of yourself.”

 

“Can my title be taken for unhealthy eating habits?”

 

You were only joking. But the second it came out your mouth you instantly wanted to take it back. Wasn’t Head Boy supposed to be a model student? How much of a role model could you be when you get only three hours of sleep on a daily and can barely function without at least four cups of caffeine? Did you even really deserve to be Head Boy? Especially since Dumbledore only picked you because you somehow managed to save Professor Lockhart. 

 

Glancing down at your badge you couldn’t help but think Percy was the one who should have a big red badge with “Head Boy” written in bold letters. Instead here you were with a blue badge you should’ve never had to begin with.

 

“(y/n)? Hey there, calm down,” you could hardly make out the words coming from Professor Lupin’s mouth over your heaving breathing.

 

That’s the funny thing about your anxiety. One mention of iced lattes had your heart pounding against your chest, so much that it hurt to breath. Yet no matter how hard it hurt, you couldn’t stop breathing despite how much you wanted to stop breathing because it wasn’t as simple as just falling asleep and never waking up. 

 

God you wish it was though. You haven’t slept in so long.

 

You’re eyes were starting to burn and you closed them, trying to ignore the warm hand pressing down on your shoulders. You needed to rest your eyes a bit, just until they stopped burning. But the problem was: you’re eyes were closed yet nothing stopped. Your head was pounding, why does it hurt so much? 

 

“Listen to my voice (y/n). Can you hear me?”

 

Of course you could hear him, why wouldn’t you be able to?

 

“I need you to do as I say (y/n), can you do that for me?”

 

“Please make everything stop,” you said, cringing at the cracks in your voice.

 

Warmth surrounded your body and you finally opened your eyes, squinting at the harsh lights. Professor Lupin was crouching in front of you and you’re latte was an abandoned mess on the ground. 

 

“I-I’m sorry Professor,” you mumbled, grabbing the chocolate that was held out in front of you.

 

“It’s not a problem, my boy. But I need you to get ready to stand up for Madam Pomfrey..”

 

For the first time since you’ve met him, you stared into Professor Lupin’s eyes. They were blue, a beautiful blue, and hazy. It looked as if he was about to cry. 

 

Which in turn made you sob harder.

 

“It's not okay Professor. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t feel this way, it’s not normal to be so sad and tired and annoyed. Everyone’s tried to help me and I’m ruining Dumbledore’s trust in me as Head Boy and what would Cedric think seeing me like this? I’m not a good for him at all…..”

 

Everything was coming out at once, and your cheeks were aching from all the huffing and puffing. The blanket Professor Lupin wrapped around you was sliding off and the contrast of cool and warm made you want to hurl. Or maybe it was all that caffeine with no food. You couldn’t be bothered to figure out what it was, you just wanted to sleep.

 

“You’re not letting anyone down (y/n). Never apologize for your mental health. Now come on and stand.”

 

You felt arms hook around your shoulders and pull you up. You let out a loud groan at the ache in your body.

 

The next 30 minutes or so were a blur. You could only vaguely remember Madam Pomfrey ushering you to the hospital wing. Peoples rushed passed you, none of which you could recognize over your squinted eyes. 

 

Can’t they dim the lights a bit? This  **_is_ ** a wizarding school. 

 

All attempts to try to listen in on the chattering of adults were futile as a sharp ringing echoed in your head.

 

For the first time in months, you felt yourself ready to slip away into a good night's sleep. And maybe you would’ve. However, a hand shook you violently awake and you let out a groan in complaint.

 

“I don’t get how you’re all so concerned with me not sleeping yet won’t let me,” you snapped, ignoring the hoarseness in your voice and slapping away the hand that shook you awake.

 

“Mr. (l/n)! That is no way for a Head Boy to be acting!”

 

You couldn’t recognize who was yelling at you. It was probably just Flitwick or Snape or something. The next person however, you recognized to be Professor Lupin.

 

“You’ll be able to sleep in a little bit (y/n). Remember when I asked if you can do as I say? I need you to open your eyes, just long enough to drink some Sleeping Draught that Professor Snape made for you. That way we can be sure you’ll sleep well.”

 

Why is he treating you like a baby? You know what Sleeping Draught is, you didn’t go through seven years in a wizarding school for nothing.

 

You wanted to bitch and whine to whoever would listen, but your mouth was too dry. It hurt to breath let alone cry.

 

Instead you settled for opening your eyes to glare at Professor Lupin. That plan was a bust though seeing as the bright lights made you whimper, much to the misery of your throat.

 

“Can you dim the lights a bit Flitwick? I don’t think it’s doing much good for (y/n).”

 

In a matter of seconds everything got a few tints darker and you were finally able to fully open your eyes. Glancing slowly around the room you found Professor Flitwick at the foot of your bed peering at you, concerned.

 

“There will be no need for you to worry about your Head Boy duties for the time being. We have Percy Weasley filling in for you while you have time to recover.”

 

There everyone goes again with the “Head Boy this” and “Head Boy that.” Why couldn’t they just leave you alone?

 

“How are you feeling,” a gentle voice spoke from beside you. You glanced over at Professor Lupin, now fully aware of how puffy your face must’ve been. You probably looked like a mess.

 

“Tired,” you mumbled, looking around for Professor Snape and the Sleeping Draught.

 

Professor Lupin seemed to sense what you were doing and told you, “Professor Snape is making your Sleeping Draught as we speak. Madam Pomfrey sent off Dobby to get you some food and water.”

 

“No more iced lattes?”

 

Professor Lupin snickered a bit, “No more lattes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I shifted with canon a little bit. Especially when it came to Lockhart and how Harry’s second year ended/third year began (ie: Percy not becoming Head Boy, Lockhart gaining back his memories, Small time frames that may be out of canon if you look hard enough). There was also no beta reader and I will fix any mistakes as I find them.


End file.
